


No Substitute

by ninhursag



Series: Let's make Michael Guerin cry [1]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Child Abuse, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Permanent Injury, Sex Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:42:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22794184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninhursag/pseuds/ninhursag
Summary: Post shed misery. Alex leaves and Michael tries to be with someone else. It's worse than hollow.For a series of Tumblr prompts about Michael being sad because... you know...
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes, Michael Guerin/Other(s)
Series: Let's make Michael Guerin cry [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1638739
Comments: 6
Kudos: 51





	No Substitute

**Author's Note:**

> Note: an incident of accidental prostitution

The last time Michael sees Alex Manes, he's straight backed and wearing a uniform. He doesn't look Michael in the eye. Michael's seen enough people stare over his shoulder into the middle distance to know what that looks like.

Michael doesn't try to make him, just nods along numbly while Alex quietly explains that they won't be seeing each other again. His left hand is throbbing and he keeps it out of sight as best he can so it won't be a distraction. This isn't about calling attention to that.

He lets himself look at Alex's face even if Alex won't do the same. He's still handsome, stripped of his piercings and eyeliner, hair buzzed military short. He's still beautiful.

He says something like, "it's better if we don't see each other again. You-- it's-- appearances. And." Michael stops listening to whatever Alex is stammering, because there's no point. 

"Ok," he says when Alex pauses, seeming to expect some kind of response. Alex looks grey, tired. Michael gets that. "I get it," he says out loud. 

Alex nods. Pauses himself. "Did your parents take you to a doctor yet?" Alex asks suddenly.

Michael blinks. "What?"

"For your hand? Do you need surgery?" Alex pushes, looking annoyed or mad or--

"No," Michael says because that's easier than explaining--what? No parents? No doctor? No idea-- didn't Alex know that he was a run away from the group home? If you could call it that when everyone knew where he was and causally disregarded it. But, well, they'd never talked about it, had they? "I won't need surgery."

Alex swallows visibly. "Good, that's good. I'm.. I'm sorry about that."

Michael shakes his head. "It's fine. It's not your fault. I'm sorry if-- I hope that-- I mean. Goodbye, see you if I see you?"

Alex's smile is wan when he walks away muttering something. He's beautiful from the back too and Michael knows he's never going to see him again. He deserves it, even more than for the reasons Alex has. It's not just getting Alex caught by his father that's-- his life-- the one he'd been hoping for is gone.

And Rosa is gone. And as if anyone finds out, it's already decided he's the one who is going to step up. Which-- yeah, Alex is right. This is better. 

Michael waits a while before going to his truck. He doesn't do much even then, just sits in the driver's seat and waits longer, like something's gonna change.

It doesn't, but Izzy needs him and it's not like he has a choice but to go back to figuring something out.

It's two months of no Alex when he sees the guy out at a truck stop outside of town. Not a clone of his Alex, older, a little rougher, but the same native cast to his features, dark eyes and lovely mouth. The same once over of interest, just no pretenses to this guy.

Michael eye fucks him right back and stands up. The guy siddles over. 

Michael blows him in the bathroom, on his knees in a stall, his bad hand swollen and tender hidden in his pocket. It's nothing like Alex, no laughter, no kisses, no wondering glances. 

Michael doesn't hate it either, the sheer physicality of being on his knees on the hard floor, the force of dick shoving into him, the way it makes his eyes tear up and his throat ache until he's taking it deep. Hands pulling his hair, putting him where he needs to be. He's nowhere but here, he's nothing but this.

They don't get interrupted either.

The guy slips him fifty bucks, which he wasn't expecting, and that buys him a drink and a motel bed and shower.

He sleeps clean, with no dreams and that's better than he expected and that gets him thinking. It's time he figured out a way to stop living in his truck and get a door that he could lock and some heat. That's gotta be something he can do.

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me on Tumblr @ninswhimsy


End file.
